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Part Four – Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
1 – If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin
Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killer.
- Principle 1 – Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2 – How To Criticize-And Not Be Hated For It
- Principle 2 – Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3 – Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
- Principle 3 – Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the
other person.
4 – No One Likes To Take Orders
Encourage cooperation instead of rebellion.
Resentment caused by a brash order may last a long time; even if the order was given to correct an obviously bad situation.
Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.
An effective leader will use …
- Principle 4 – Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5 – Let the Other Person save Face
Antoine de Saint-Exupery: “I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”
A real leader will always follow …
- Principle 5 – Let the other person save face.
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