Book Summary: How To Win Friends And Influence People-p7

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6 – How To Spur People On To Success

Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving.

The psychologist Jess Lair comments: “Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it.

Remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it. But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery.

If you and I will inspire the people with whom we come in contact to a realization of the hidden treasures they possess, we can do far more than change people. We can literally transform them.

Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.

  • Principle 6 – Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

7 – Give A Dog A Good Name

“The average person,” said Samuel Vauclain, “can be led readily if you have his or her respect and if you show that you respect that person for some kind of ability.”

In short, if you want to improve a person in a certain aspect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.

Shakespeare said “Assume a virtue, if you have it not.”

  • Principle 7 – Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

8 – Make The Fault Seem Easy To Correct

  • Principle 8 – Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

9 – Making People Glad To Do What You Want

One of the important rules of human relations: Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:

  • 1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
  • 2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
  • 3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.
  • 4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
  • 5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
  • 6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.
  • Principle 9 – Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

In A Nutshell Be A Leader

  • Principle 1 – Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  • Principle 2 – Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  • Principle 3 – Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  • Principle 4 – Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  • Principle 5 – Let the other person save face.
  • Principle 6 – Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  • Principle 7 – Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  • Principle 8 – Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  • Principle 9 – Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

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