Tag: Argument

Book Summary: How To Win Friends And Influence People-p4

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Part Three – How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

  1. You Can’t Win An Argument
    1. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.
    2. Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so.
    3. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
    4. Your opponents may be right.

Principle 1 – The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

  1. A Sure Way Of Making Enemies -And How To Avoid It
    1. Galileo said: You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.
    2. As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.
    3. Socrates: One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.
  2. You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong.
  3. I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand the other person.
  • Principle 2 – Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  1. If You’re Wrong, Admit It

“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

  • Principle 3 – If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  1. A Drop Of Honey
  2. The friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.
  3. Lincoln said: “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.”
  • Principle 4 – Begin in a friendly way.
  1. The Secret Of Socrates
  2. In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ.
  3. Get the other person saying “Yes, yes” at the outset.
  4. Chinese proverb: “He who treads softly goes far.”
  • Principle 5 – Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

6 – The Safety Valve In Handling Complaints

La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said: “If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”

  • Principle 6– Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

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