Book Summary: The Real Anthony Fauci P.4
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Book Summary: Daring Greatly p9
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WEBS AND BOXES:
HOW MEN AND WOMEN EXPERIENCE SHAME DIFFERENTLY
Men and women are equally affected by shame. The messages and expectations that fuel shame are most definitely organized by gender, but the experience of shame is universal and deeply human.
WOMEN AND THE SHAME WEB
Look perfect. Do perfect. Be perfect. Anything less than that is shaming.
Being exposed—the flawed parts of yourself that you want to hide from everyone are revealed.
No matter what I achieve or how far I’ve come, where I come from and what I’ve survived will always keep me from feeling like I’m good enough.
Even though everyone knows that there’s no way to do it all, everyone still expects it. Shame is when you can’t pull off looking like it’s under control.
Never enough at home. Never enough at work. Never enough in bed.
Never enough with my parents. Shame is never enough.
No seat at the cool table. The pretty girls are laughing.
If you recall the twelve shame categories (appearance and body image, money and work, motherhood/fatherhood, family, parenting, mental and physical health, addiction, sex, aging, religion, surviving trauma, and being stereotyped or labeled), the primary trigger for women, in terms of its power
and universality, is the first one: how we look.
Interestingly, in terms of shame triggers for women, motherhood is a close second. And (bonus!) you don’t have to be a mother to experience mother shame. Society views womanhood and motherhood as inextricably bound; therefore our value as women is often determined by where we are in relation to our roles as mothers or potential mothers. Mother shame is ubiquitous—it’s a birthright for girls and women.
Think about how much money has been made selling products that promise “the natural look.”
When I think of my own efforts to be everything to everyone—something that women are socialized to do—I can see how every move I make just ensnares me even more. Every effort to twist my way out of the web just leads to becoming more stuck. That’s because every choice has consequences or leads to someone being disappointed.
Don’t upset anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings, but say what’s on your mind. Don’t make people feel uncomfortable, but be honest.
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Book Summary: The Power of Habit p5
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Alcoholics who practiced the techniques of habit replacement, the data indicated, could often stay sober until there was a stressful event in their lives— at which point, a certain number started drinking again, no matter how many new routines they had embraced. However, those alcoholics who believed that some higher power had entered their lives were more likely to make it through the stressful periods with their sobriety intact. It wasn’t God that mattered, the researchers figured out. It was belief itself that made a difference. Once people learned how to believe in something, that skill started spilling over to other parts of their lives, until they started believing they could change. Belief was the ingredient that made a reworked habit loop into a permanent behavior.
You don’t have to believe in God, but you do need the capacity to believe that things will get better.
What can make a difference is believing that they can cope with that stress without alcohol. It lets people practice believing that things will eventually get better, until things actually do.
There is, unfortunately, no specific set of steps guaranteed to work for every person. We know that a habit cannot be eradicated— it must, instead, be replaced.
And we know that habits are most malleable when the Golden Rule of habit change is applied: If we keep
the same cue and the same reward, a new routine can be inserted.
For a habit to stay changed, people must believe change is possible. And most often, that belief only emerges with the help of a group.
If you want to change a habit, you must find an alternative routine, and your odds of success go up dramatically when you commit to changing as part of a group.
We know that change can happen. Alcoholics can stop drinking. Smokers can quit puffing. Perennial losers can become champions. You can stop biting your nails or snacking at work, yelling at your
kids, staying up all night, or worrying over small concerns. And as scientists have discovered, it’s not just individual lives that can shift when habits are tended to. It’s also companies, organizations, and communities, as the next chapters explain.
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Book Summary: The Real Anthony Fauci P.3
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Bestsellers: Motivational Books
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A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your
- 31 simple coping strategies
- How to make your emotions work FOR you.
- A formula to reprogram your mind
- A free downloadable workbook, and much, much more!
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23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present
- Overcome negative thought patterns, reduce stress, and live a worry-free life.
- Break free of your self-imposed mental prison.
- Stop agonizing over the past and trying to predict the future.
- Powerful ways to stop ruminating and dwelling on negative thoughts.
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- Live a stress-free life and conquer overthinking — BUY NOW.
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An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
Learn how to:
- Make time for new habits (even when life gets crazy);
- Overcome a lack of motivation and willpower;
- Design your environment to make success easier;
- Get back on track when you fall off course;
…and much more.
Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits–whether you are a team looking to win a championship, an organization hoping to redefine an industry, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, or achieve any other goal.
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Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery
Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, often until they feel completely futile. But by extracting crucial insight from our most damaging habits, building emotional intelligence by better understanding our brains and bodies, releasing past experiences at a cellular level, and learning to act as our highest potential future selves, we can step out of our own way and into our potential. For centuries, the mountain has been used as a metaphor for the big challenges we face, especially ones that seem impossible to overcome. To scale our mountains, we actually have to do the deep internal work of excavating trauma, building resilience, and adjusting how we show up for the climb.
In the end, it is not the mountain we master, but ourselves.
The Power of a Positive Mindset
Transform Your Mind Transform Your Life
Author Jason Wolbers, a seasoned salesperson and successful business owner, this book is a treasure trove of practical success principles that resonate on every page.
Embrace the boundless potential of your mind with the age-old wisdom echoed by Napoleon Hill: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it CAN achieve.”
Wolbers takes you down a path that taps into unlocked potential, urging you to explore the true capabilities of your mind.
Dream of a life where your aspirations come to fruition? Let’s kickstart this transformation by first nurturing your mind. In just 90 days, “The Power of a Positive Mindset” will guide you through a journey of change.
As you flip through the pages and absorb the wisdom within, envision a life not left to chance but actively shaped by your newfound positive mindset.
Say goodbye to wishful thinking; with this book, you become the architect of your destiny, starting from page one.
Begin cultivating positive daily habits that shift your attitude within days. The transformation begins the moment you decide to grab your copy of this book and continues as you turn the first page.
Don’t hesitate—grab your book now, and let’s set your life on a course of lasting change!
Book Summary: Daring Greatly p8
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I GET IT. SHAME IS BAD. SO WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?
The answer is shame resilience. Note that shame resistance is not possible.
Shame resilience: the ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it. Shame resilience is about moving from shame to empathy—the real antidote to shame. 💖
A social wound needs a social balm, and empathy is that balm.
Four elements of shame resilience:
- Recognizing Shame and Understanding Its Triggers.
- Shame is biology and biography
- Practicing Critical Awareness.
- Can you reality-check the messages and expectations that are driving your shame?
- Reaching Out.
- We can’t experience empathy if we’re not connecting.
- Speaking Shame.
- Are you talking about how you feel and asking for what you need when you feel shame?
Shame resilience is a strategy for protecting connection—our connection with ourselves and our connections with the people we care about.
When shame descends, we almost always are hijacked by the limbic system.
Our fight or flight strategies are effective for survival, not for reasoning or connection.
According to Dr. Hartling, in order to deal with shame, some of us move away by withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves, and keeping secrets. Some of us move toward by seeking to appease and please. And some of us move against by trying to gain power over others, by being aggressive, and by using shame to fight shame (like sending really mean e-mails). Most of us use all of these—at different times with different folks for different reasons.
Yet all of these strategies move us away from connection—they are strategies for disconnecting from the pain of shame.
Three moves that are the most effective path to shame resilience:
- Practice courage and reach out!
- Talk to myself the way I would talk to someone I really love and whom I’m trying to comfort in the midst of a meltdown
- Own the story! Don’t bury it and let it fester or define me. I often say this aloud: “If you own this story you get to write the ending. If you own this story you get to write the ending.”
💝 Empathy is connection; it’s a ladder out of the shame hole.
Empathy is connecting with the emotion that someone is experiencing, not the event or the circumstance.
In his book
Writing to Heal, Pennebaker writes, “Since the mid-1980s an increasing number of studies have focused on the value of expressive writing as a way to bring about healing. Emotional writing can also affect people’s sleep habits, work efficiency, and how they connect with others.”
Book Summary: The Power of Habit p4
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A salesperson, for example, knows she can boost her bonus by giving favored customers hefty discounts in exchange for larger orders.
It’s okay to be ambitious, but if you play too rough, your peers will unite against you. On the other hand, if you focus on boosting your own department, rather than undermining your rival, you’ll probably get taken care of over time.
Sometimes, a truce can create dangers that outweigh any peace.
During turmoil, organizational habits become malleable enough to both assign responsibility and create a more equitable balance of power. Crises are so valuable, in fact, that sometimes it’s worth stirring up a sense of looming catastrophe rather than letting it die down.
Book Summary: The Real Anthony Fauci P.2
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Book Summary: The Real Anthony Fauci P.1
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- Dr. Fauci’s quarantine of the healthy killed more people than COVID; obliterate global economy; plunged millions into poverty and bankruptcy; disintegrated vital food chain;
- US life expectancy decreased by 1.9 years during quarantine
- Hispanic & Black Americans suffered the heaviest burden of Dr. Fauci’s health adventures.
- Dr. Fauci admitted he never assessed the costs of desolation, poverty, and depression by his countermeasures.
- Dr. Fauci’s lockdown put 58 million Americans out of work.
- In 2020, workers lost 3.7 trillion $ while billionaires gained $3.9 trillion.
- Additional 8 million Americans dropped below poverty line
- The biggest winners: Big Technology; Big Data; Big Telecom; Big Finance; Big media behemoths (Michael Bloomberg, Rupert Murdoch, Viacom, Disney); and Silicon Valley titans like Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Eric Schmidt, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Larry Ellison, Jack Dorsey