Category: Life

Book Summary: Daring Greatly p9

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WEBS AND BOXES:

HOW MEN AND WOMEN EXPERIENCE SHAME DIFFERENTLY

Men and women are equally affected by shame. The messages and expectations that fuel shame are most definitely organized by gender, but the experience of shame is universal and deeply human.

WOMEN AND THE SHAME WEB

Look perfect. Do perfect. Be perfect. Anything less than that is shaming.

Being exposed—the flawed parts of yourself that you want to hide from everyone are revealed.

No matter what I achieve or how far I’ve come, where I come from and what I’ve survived will always keep me from feeling like I’m good enough.
Even though everyone knows that there’s no way to do it all, everyone still expects it. Shame is when you can’t pull off looking like it’s under control.
Never enough at home. Never enough at work. Never enough in bed.
Never enough with my parents. Shame is never enough.
No seat at the cool table. The pretty girls are laughing.

If you recall the twelve shame categories (appearance and body image, money and work, motherhood/fatherhood, family, parenting, mental and physical health, addiction, sex, aging, religion, surviving trauma, and being stereotyped or labeled), the primary trigger for women, in terms of its power
and universality, is the first one: how we look.

Interestingly, in terms of shame triggers for women, motherhood is a close second. And (bonus!) you don’t have to be a mother to experience mother shame. Society views womanhood and motherhood as inextricably bound; therefore our value as women is often determined by where we are in relation to our roles as mothers or potential mothers. Mother shame is ubiquitous—it’s a birthright for girls and women.

Think about how much money has been made selling products that promise “the natural look.”

When I think of my own efforts to be everything to everyone—something that women are socialized to do—I can see how every move I make just ensnares me even more. Every effort to twist my way out of the web just leads to becoming more stuck. That’s because every choice has consequences or leads to someone being disappointed.

Don’t upset anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings, but say what’s on your mind. Don’t make people feel uncomfortable, but be honest.

😞😞😞

Book Summary: The Power of Habit p5

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Alcoholics who practiced the techniques of habit replacement, the data indicated, could often stay sober until there was a stressful event in their lives— at which point, a certain number started drinking again, no matter how many new routines they had embraced. However, those alcoholics who believed that some higher power had entered their lives were more likely to make it through the stressful periods with their sobriety intact. It wasn’t God that mattered, the researchers figured out. It was belief itself that made a difference. Once people learned how to believe in something, that skill started spilling over to other parts of their lives, until they started believing they could change. Belief was the ingredient that made a reworked habit loop into a permanent behavior.

You don’t have to believe in God, but you do need the capacity to believe that things will get better.

What can make a difference is believing that they can cope with that stress without alcohol. It lets people practice believing that things will eventually get better, until things actually do.

There is, unfortunately, no specific set of steps guaranteed to work for every person. We know that a habit cannot be eradicated— it must, instead, be replaced.

And we know that habits are most malleable when the Golden Rule of habit change is applied: If we keep
the same cue and the same reward, a new routine can be inserted.

For a habit to stay changed, people must believe change is possible. And most often, that belief only emerges with the help of a group.

If you want to change a habit, you must find an alternative routine, and your odds of success go up dramatically when you commit to changing as part of a group.

We know that change can happen. Alcoholics can stop drinking. Smokers can quit puffing. Perennial losers can become champions. You can stop biting your nails or snacking at work, yelling at your
kids, staying up all night, or worrying over small concerns. And as scientists have discovered, it’s not just individual lives that can shift when habits are tended to. It’s also companies, organizations, and communities, as the next chapters explain.

💕ε(´｡•᎑•`)っ Get your copy…Stay informed ε(´｡•᎑•`)っ 💕

Bestsellers: Motivational Books

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🤯🤯🤯

Master Your Emotions

A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your

  • 31 simple coping strategies
  • How to make your emotions work FOR you.
  • A formula to reprogram your mind
  • A free downloadable workbook, and much, much more!

🤔🤔🤔

Stop Overthinking

23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present

  • Overcome negative thought patterns, reduce stress, and live a worry-free life.
  • Break free of your self-imposed mental prison.
  • Stop agonizing over the past and trying to predict the future.
  • Powerful ways to stop ruminating and dwelling on negative thoughts.
  • Unleash your unlimited potential and start living.
  • Live a stress-free life and conquer overthinking — BUY NOW.

☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️

Atomic Habits

An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Learn how to:

  • Make time for new habits (even when life gets crazy);
  • Overcome a lack of motivation and willpower;
  • Design your environment to make success easier;
  • Get back on track when you fall off course;

…and much more.

Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits–whether you are a team looking to win a championship, an organization hoping to redefine an industry, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, or achieve any other goal.

⛰️⛰️⛰️

The Mountain Is You

Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery

Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, often until they feel completely futile. But by extracting crucial insight from our most damaging habits, building emotional intelligence by better understanding our brains and bodies, releasing past experiences at a cellular level, and learning to act as our highest potential future selves, we can step out of our own way and into our potential. For centuries, the mountain has been used as a metaphor for the big challenges we face, especially ones that seem impossible to overcome. To scale our mountains, we actually have to do the deep internal work of excavating trauma, building resilience, and adjusting how we show up for the climb.

In the end, it is not the mountain we master, but ourselves.

The Power of a Positive Mindset

Transform Your Mind Transform Your Life

Author Jason Wolbers, a seasoned salesperson and successful business owner, this book is a treasure trove of practical success principles that resonate on every page.

Embrace the boundless potential of your mind with the age-old wisdom echoed by Napoleon Hill: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it CAN achieve.”

Wolbers takes you down a path that taps into unlocked potential, urging you to explore the true capabilities of your mind.

Dream of a life where your aspirations come to fruition? Let’s kickstart this transformation by first nurturing your mind. In just 90 days, “The Power of a Positive Mindset” will guide you through a journey of change.

As you flip through the pages and absorb the wisdom within, envision a life not left to chance but actively shaped by your newfound positive mindset.

Say goodbye to wishful thinking; with this book, you become the architect of your destiny, starting from page one.

Begin cultivating positive daily habits that shift your attitude within days. The transformation begins the moment you decide to grab your copy of this book and continues as you turn the first page.

Don’t hesitate—grab your book now, and let’s set your life on a course of lasting change!

Book Summary: Daring Greatly p8

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I GET IT. SHAME IS BAD. SO WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?

The answer is shame resilience. Note that shame resistance is not possible.

Shame resilience: the ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it. Shame resilience is about moving from shame to empathy—the real antidote to shame. 💖

A social wound needs a social balm, and empathy is that balm.

Four elements of shame resilience:

  1. Recognizing Shame and Understanding Its Triggers.
    • Shame is biology and biography
  2. Practicing Critical Awareness.
    • Can you reality-check the messages and expectations that are driving your shame?
  3. Reaching Out.
    • We can’t experience empathy if we’re not connecting.
  4. Speaking Shame.
    • Are you talking about how you feel and asking for what you need when you feel shame?

Shame resilience is a strategy for protecting connection—our connection with ourselves and our connections with the people we care about.

When shame descends, we almost always are hijacked by the limbic system.

Our fight or flight strategies are effective for survival, not for reasoning or connection.

According to Dr. Hartling, in order to deal with shame, some of us move away by withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves, and keeping secrets. Some of us move toward by seeking to appease and please. And some of us move against by trying to gain power over others, by being aggressive, and by using shame to fight shame (like sending really mean e-mails). Most of us use all of these—at different times with different folks for different reasons.

Yet all of these strategies move us away from connection—they are strategies for disconnecting from the pain of shame.

Three moves that are the most effective path to shame resilience:

  • Practice courage and reach out!
  • Talk to myself the way I would talk to someone I really love and whom I’m trying to comfort in the midst of a meltdown
  • Own the story! Don’t bury it and let it fester or define me. I often say this aloud: “If you own this story you get to write the ending. If you own this story you get to write the ending.”

💝 Empathy is connection; it’s a ladder out of the shame hole.

Empathy is connecting with the emotion that someone is experiencing, not the event or the circumstance.

In his book
Writing to Heal, Pennebaker writes, “Since the mid-1980s an increasing number of studies have focused on the value of expressive writing as a way to bring about healing. Emotional writing can also affect people’s sleep habits, work efficiency, and how they connect with others.”

☀️ Get your copy…Enlighten yourself ☀️

Book Summary: The Power of Habit p4

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A salesperson, for example, knows she can boost her bonus by giving favored customers hefty discounts in exchange for larger orders.

It’s okay to be ambitious, but if you play too rough, your peers will unite against you. On the other hand, if you focus on boosting your own department, rather than undermining your rival, you’ll probably get taken care of over time.

Sometimes, a truce can create dangers that outweigh any peace.

During turmoil, organizational habits become malleable enough to both assign responsibility and create a more equitable balance of power. Crises are so valuable, in fact, that sometimes it’s worth stirring up a sense of looming catastrophe rather than letting it die down.

Book Summary: The Real Anthony Fauci P.1

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  • Dr. Fauci’s quarantine of the healthy killed more people than COVID; obliterate global economy; plunged millions into poverty and bankruptcy; disintegrated vital food chain;
  • US life expectancy decreased by 1.9 years during quarantine
  • Hispanic & Black Americans suffered the heaviest burden of Dr. Fauci’s health adventures.
  • Dr. Fauci admitted he never assessed the costs of desolation, poverty, and depression by his countermeasures.
  • Dr. Fauci’s lockdown put 58 million Americans out of work.
  • In 2020, workers lost 3.7 trillion $ while billionaires gained $3.9 trillion.
  • Additional 8 million Americans dropped below poverty line
  • The biggest winners: Big Technology; Big Data; Big Telecom; Big Finance; Big media behemoths (Michael Bloomberg, Rupert Murdoch, Viacom, Disney); and Silicon Valley titans like Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Eric Schmidt, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Larry Ellison, Jack Dorsey

🗺 Get your copy…Stay informed 🗺

Bestsellers: Professional & Academic Biographies

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Elon Musk

From the author of Steve Jobs and other bestselling biographies, this is the astonishingly intimate story of the most fascinating and controversial innovator of our era—a rule-breaking visionary who helped to lead the world into the era of electric vehicles, private space exploration, and artificial intelligence. Oh, and took over Twitter.

📚 Your copy is here 📚

Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World

Over the past twenty-five years, Naomi Klein has charted and documented our politics and culture with a series of trenchant bestselling books laying bare the effects of branding, austerity, and climate profiteering on our societies and souls.

With Doppelganger, Klein takes a more personal turn, braiding together elements of tragicomic memoir, chilling political reportage, and cobweb-clearing cultural analysis, as she dives deep into what she calls the Mirror World—our destabilized present rife with doubles and confusion, where far right movements playact solidarity with the working class, AI-generated content blurs the line between genuine and spurious, New Age wellness entrepreneurs turned anti-vaxxers further scramble our familiar political allegiances, and so many of us project our own carefully curated digital doubles out into the social media sphere.

📚 Your copy is here 📚

The Real Anthony Fauci

The Real Anthony Fauci: Bill Gates, Big Pharma, and the Global War on Democracy and Public Health

#1 on AMAZON, TWENTY WEEKS on the NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST, and a WALL STREET JOURNAL, USA TODAY and PUBLISHERS WEEKLY NATIONAL BESTSELLER
Over 1,000,000 copies sold despite censorship, boycotts from bookstores and libraries, and hit pieces against the author.
Pharma-funded mainstream media has convinced millions of Americans that Dr. Anthony Fauci is a hero. Hands down, he is anything but.

As director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), Dr. Anthony Fauci dispenses $6.1 billion 😵 in annual taxpayer-provided funding for rigged scientific research, allowing him to dictate the subject, content, and outcome of scientific health research across the globe—truly a dark agenda. Fauci uses the financial clout at his disposal in a back handed manner to wield extraordinary influence over hospitals, universities, journals, and thousands of influential doctors and scientists—whose careers and institutions he has the power to ruin, advance, or reward in an authoritarian manner.

📚 Your copy is here 📚

Astor

The Rise and Fall of an American Fortune

The story of the Astors is a quintessentially American story—of ambition, invention, destruction, and reinvention.

From 1783, when German immigrant John Jacob Astor first arrived in the United States, until 2009, when Brooke Astor’s son, Anthony Marshall, was convicted of defrauding his elderly mother, the Astor name occupied a unique place in American society.

The family fortune, first made by a beaver trapping business that grew into an empire, was then amplified by holdings in Manhattan real estate. Over the ensuing generations, Astors ruled Gilded Age New York society and inserted themselves into political and cultural life, but also suffered the most famous loss on the Titanic, one of many shocking and unexpected twists in the family’s story.

📚 Get your copy here 📚

Night Intruder

A Personal Account of the Radar War Between the RAF and Luftwaffe Night-Fighter Forces (Memoirs of World War Two in the Air Book 1)

An engrossing memoir of one RAF fighter pilot’s battle against the Luftwaffe in the dead of night.
Ideal for fans of Roderick Chisholm, E. C. R. Baker and Brian Lane.

After a tour of operations under the guidance of night-fighter ace, John ‘Cat’s Eyes’ Cunningham, Jeremy Howard-Williams was made flight commander of Fighter Command’s night experimental unit. This elite force was at the forefront of aerial night-fighting, attacking German airfields with newly developed radar equipment and defending Allied airspace by utilising a wide variety of aircraft from the Mosquito and Tempest to the Black Widow and Messerschmidt 410.

📚 Get your copy here 📚

Unreasonable Hospitality

The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect

Essential lessons in hospitality for every business, from the former co-owner of legendary restaurant Eleven Madison Park.
Will Guidara was twenty-six when he took the helm of Eleven Madison Park, a struggling two-star brasserie that had never quite lived up to its majestic room. Eleven years later, EMP was named the best restaurant in the world.
How did Guidara pull off this unprecedented transformation? Radical reinvention, a true partnership between the kitchen and the dining room—and memorable, over-the-top, bespoke hospitality.

Today, every business can choose to be a hospitality business—and we can all transform ordinary transactions into extraordinary experiences.

🐞 Get your copy here 🐞

The CBS Murders

A True Account of Greed and Violence in New York’s Diamond District

Winner of the Edgar Award: The gripping account of a gruesome mass murder in gritty 1980s New York and the relentless hunt for a coldblooded killer.
On a warm spring evening in 1982, thirty-seven-year-old accountant Margaret Barbera left work in New York City and walked to the West Side parking lot where she kept her BMW. Finding the lock on the driver’s side door jammed, she went to the passenger’s side and inserted her key. A man leaned through the open window of a van parked in the next spot, pressed a silenced pistol to the back of Margaret’s head, and fired. She was dead before she hit the pavement.

✨ Get you copy here ✨

Tuesdays with Morrie

An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson

25th Anniversary Edition

Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher, or a colleague. Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it.

For Mitch Albom, that person was Morrie Schwartz, his college professor from nearly twenty years ago.

Maybe, like Mitch, you lost track of this mentor as you made your way, and the insights faded, and the world seemed colder. Wouldn’t you like to see that person again, ask the bigger questions that still haunt you, receive wisdom for your busy life today the way you once did when you were younger?

💖 Get your copy here 💖

Book Summary: Daring Greatly p7

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UNTANGLING SHAME, GUILT, HUMILIATION, AND EMBARRASSMENT

Guilt = I did something bad.

Shame = I am bad.

When we feel shame, we are most likely to protect ourselves by blaming something or someone, rationalizing our lapse, offering a disingenuous apology, or hiding out.

When we apologize for something we’ve done, make amends, or change a behavior that doesn’t align with our values, guilt—not shame—is most often the driving force.

Guilt is just as powerful as shame, but its influence is positive, while shame’s is destructive. Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we can change and do better.

Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying.

In fact, shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and hurtful behaviors than it is to be the
solution.
Again, it is human nature to want to feel worthy of love and belonging. 💖

When we experience shame, we feel disconnected and desperate for worthiness. When we’re hurting, either full of shame or even just feeling the fear of shame, we are more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors and to attack or shame others.

Humiliation is another word that we often confuse with shame. Donald Klein captures the difference between shame and humiliation when he writes, “People believe they deserve their shame; they do not believe they deserve their humiliation.”

Humiliation feels terrible and makes for a miserable work or home environment—and if it’s ongoing, it can certainly become shame if we start to buy into the messaging. It is, however, still better than shame.

The hallmark of embarrassment is that when we do something embarrassing, we don’t feel alone. We know other folks have done the same thing and, like a blush, it will pass rather than define us.

Getting familiar with the language is an important start to understanding shame. It is part of the first element of what I call shame resilience.

Achieve growth