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Part 5 – Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
Remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it. But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery.
Let me repeat: the principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.
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6 – How To Spur People On To Success
Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving.
The psychologist Jess Lair comments: “Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it.
Remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it. But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery.
If you and I will inspire the people with whom we come in contact to a realization of the hidden treasures they possess, we can do far more than change people. We can literally transform them.
Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.
7 – Give A Dog A Good Name
“The average person,” said Samuel Vauclain, “can be led readily if you have his or her respect and if you show that you respect that person for some kind of ability.”
In short, if you want to improve a person in a certain aspect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.
Shakespeare said “Assume a virtue, if you have it not.”
8 – Make The Fault Seem Easy To Correct
9 – Making People Glad To Do What You Want
One of the important rules of human relations: Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:
In A Nutshell Be A Leader
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Part Four – Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
1 – If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin
Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killer.
2 – How To Criticize-And Not Be Hated For It
3 – Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
other person.
4 – No One Likes To Take Orders
Encourage cooperation instead of rebellion.
Resentment caused by a brash order may last a long time; even if the order was given to correct an obviously bad situation.
Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.
An effective leader will use …
5 – Let the Other Person save Face
Antoine de Saint-Exupery: “I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”
A real leader will always follow …
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7 – How To Get Cooperation
– No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold some-thing or told to do a thing.
– A chinese proverb: ” The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.”
• Principle 7 – Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8 – A Formula That Will Work Wonders For You
– Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them.
There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Try honestly to put yourself in his place.
– Dr. Gerald S. Nirenberg commented: “Cooperativeeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own.
– Seeing things through another person’s eyes may ease tensions when personal problems become overwhelming.
• Principle 8 – Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9 – What Everybody Wants
– Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.
– if you want to win people to your way of thinking, put in practice.
• Principle 9 – Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10 – An Appeal That Everybody Likes
– In order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives.
• Principle 10 – Appeal to the nobler motives.
11 – The Movies Do It. Tv Does It. Why Don’t You Do It?
– This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.
• Principle 11 – Dramatize your ideas.
12 – When Nothing Else Works, Try This
– “All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory” was the motto of the King’s Guard in ancient Greece.
– That is what every successful person loves: the game. The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win.
• Principle 12 – Throw down a challenge.
In A Nutshell – Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
• Principle 1 – The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Principle 2 – Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
• Principle 3 – If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Principle 4 – Begin in a friendly way.
• Principle 5 – Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
• Principle 6 – Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Principle 7 – Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
• Principle 8 – Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• Principle 9 – Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• Principle 10 – Appeal to the nobler motives.
• Principle 11 – Dramatize your ideas.
• Principle 12 – Throw down a challenge.
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Part Three – How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
Principle 1 – The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
6 – The Safety Valve In Handling Complaints
La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said: “If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”
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Part Two – Ways To Make People Like You
2 – A Simple Way To Make A Good First Impression
Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile. “People who smile,” he said, “tend to manage teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There’s far more information in a smile than a frown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.”
William James: “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go
together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if our cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. …”
“There is nothing either good or bad,” said Shakespeare, “but thinking makes it so.”
3 – If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed For Trouble
sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4 – An Easy Way To Become A Good Conversationalist
Listening is just as important in one’s home life as in the world of business.
5 – How To Interest People
6 – How To Make People Like You Instantly
Always make the other person feel important.
William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be
appreciated.”
“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
The life of many a person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important.
“Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours .”
In a Nutshell – Six Ways To Make People Like You
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Part 1 – Fundamental Techniques In Handling People
1 – “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”
Hans Selye, a great psychologist, said, “As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.”
“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”
2 – The Big Secret of Dealing with People
Some of the things most people want include:
3 – “He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who
Cannot, Walks a Lonely Way”
William Winter once remarked that “self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.”
“First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”
In a Nutshell Fundamental Techniques In Handling People
“Education,” said Dr. John G. Hibben, former president of Princeton
University, “is the ability to meet life’s situations,”
Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
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How To Win Friends And Influence People By Dale Carnegie
Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve:
1. Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new visions, discover new ambitions.
2. Make friends quickly and easily.
3. Increase your popularity.
4. Win people to your way of thinking.
5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
7. Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.