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Quranic Verse: Chp. 3 V. 110

Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “You [true believers in Islâmic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)) and his Sunnah] are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma’rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm has ordained) and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islâm has forbidden), and you believe in Allâh. And had the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) believed, it would have been better for them; among them are some who have faith, but most of them are Al-Fâsiqûn (disobedient to Allâh – and rebellious against His Command). ” (3:110)

Commentary:

A. In the first part of this verse Allah praises the Ummah of Muhammad (peace be upon him), the Ummahwhich answered the call of Allah. He describes it as the best Ummah ever raised for mankind. They are beneficial to all people in giving advice, in their sincere love for goodness, in their efforts for calling, teaching, and guiding people, and in enjoining good and forbidding evil.

They deserve this description in return for the good deeds they performed and their holding of the following qualities:

1. The perfection of their faith, which requires the performance of all that which Allah commands.

2. Trying to perfect and complete the faith of others by enjoining them to do good and forbidding them from doing evil. They also invite people to the way of Allah and strive hard to keep them on the proper way and keep them away from deviation.

Second: The last portion of the verse stated that only a few among the People of the Book adopted Islam, while the majority of them were evil persons who disobeyed Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) and fought against the believers. Had they believed, it would have been better for them.

See Tafsir Ibn Sa’di, p. 112 (Al-Luwaihiq Edition).

Source: QuranComplex

راههای پایین آوردن استرس

The Prophet’s Methods of Dealing with People’s Mistakes

1- Hastening to deal with people’s mistakes and not putting it off.

2 – Dealing with mistakes by explaining the ruling (hukm).

3 – Referring people back to Islam when they make mistakes, and pointing out to them the principle that they are breaking.

4 – Correcting misconceptions that are due to something not being clear in people’s minds.

Mistakes generally come about as a result of misconceptions; if the ideas are put right, mistakes will decrease.

5 – Dealing with mistakes by repeatedly reminding people to fear Allaah.

6 – Showing compassion to the one who is making a mistake.

7- Not hastening to tell someone he is wrong.

A person who is seeking knowledge should not be too hasty to condemn any opinion that differs from that with which he is familiar.

8 – Remaining calm when dealing with people’s mistakes – especially when being too harsh could make matters worse and do more harm than good.

a. We should be gentle when dealing with one who is ignorant and teach him what he needs to know without rebuking him.

b. We should, also, hasten to remove anything objectionable when there is nothing to stop us from doing so.

9 – Explaining the seriousness of the mistake.

10 – Explaining the harmful effects of the mistake.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) explained that exaggeration when praising someone is a mistake which can have bad consequences.

11 – Practical teaching of the one who is making a mistake.

12 – Offering a sound alternative.

13 – Guiding people to that which will prevent them from making mistakes.

14 – Not confronting people directly with their mistakes and addressing the issue in general terms may be sufficient. the benefits:

a. It avoids a negative reaction on the part of the person who has made the mistake, and prevents him from being tempted by the Shaytaan to avenge himself or defend himself.

b. It is more acceptable to people and is more effective.

c. It conceals the person’s mistake in front of other people.

d. It increases the status of the educator and makes the advisor more beloved.

15 – Provoking public opinion against the one who has made the mistake.

This method is only to be used in very limited circumstances, when a great deal of thought has been given to the matter, to avoid any negative escalation of the situation.

Quranic Verse: Chp. 3 V. 104

Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islâm), enjoining Al-Ma’rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islâm has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful” (3:104).

Commentary:

Allah commands the believers to take the most powerful means with which they can establish their religion on a strong basis. This can be achieved if a group among them assumes the collective obligation of:

– “Inviting to all that is good” i.e., the religion with its principles, branches and legislations.

– “Enjoining Al-Ma’rûf” i.e., all that is known to be good from the point of view of religion and reason.

– “Forbidding Al-Munkar” i.e., all that is known to be bad from the point of view of religion and reason.

– “And it is they who are the successful” i.e., those who are fully aware of their duties and who save themselves from all that causes fear.

This group of people includes scholars, seekers of knowledge, the public and private preachers and theMuhtasibs (public inspectors) who compel people to perform prayer, pay the Zakah, abide by the Religious legislations and forbid them from doing evil. So, anyone who invites people to goodness or gives advice, either in public or in private is included in this verse.

See Tafsir Ibn Sa’di, p. 112 (Al-Luwaihiq Edition)

Source: QuranComplex

Book Summary: How To Win Friends And Influence People-p5

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7 – How To Get Cooperation
– No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold some-thing or told to do a thing.
– A chinese proverb: ” The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.”
• Principle 7 – Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

8 – A Formula That Will Work Wonders For You
– Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them.
There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Try honestly to put yourself in his place.
– Dr. Gerald S. Nirenberg commented: “Cooperativeeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own.
– Seeing things through another person’s eyes may ease tensions when personal problems become overwhelming.
• Principle 8 – Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

9 – What Everybody Wants
– Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.
– if you want to win people to your way of thinking, put in practice.
• Principle 9 – Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

10 – An Appeal That Everybody Likes
– In order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives.
• Principle 10 – Appeal to the nobler motives.

11 – The Movies Do It. Tv Does It. Why Don’t You Do It?
– This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.
• Principle 11 – Dramatize your ideas.

12 – When Nothing Else Works, Try This
– “All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory” was the motto of the King’s Guard in ancient Greece.
– That is what every successful person loves: the game. The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win.
• Principle 12 – Throw down a challenge.

In A Nutshell – Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
• Principle 1 – The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Principle 2 – Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
• Principle 3 – If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Principle 4 – Begin in a friendly way.
• Principle 5 – Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
• Principle 6 – Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Principle 7 – Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
• Principle 8 – Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• Principle 9 – Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• Principle 10 – Appeal to the nobler motives.
• Principle 11 – Dramatize your ideas.
• Principle 12 – Throw down a challenge.

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Part Three – How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

You Can’t Win An Argument
1. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.
2. Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so.
3. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
4. Your opponents may be right.

Principle 1 – The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

A Sure Way Of Making Enemies -And How To Avoid It
1. Galileo said: You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.
2. As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.
3. Socrates: One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.
You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong.
I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand the other person.

Principle 2 – Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

If You’re Wrong, Admit It

“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

Principle 3 – If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

A Drop Of Honey
The friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.
Lincoln said: “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.”

Principle 4 – Begin in a friendly way.

The Secret Of Socrates
In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ.
Get the other person saying “Yes, yes” at the outset.
Chinese proverb: “He who treads softly goes far.”

Principle 5 – Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

6 – The Safety Valve In Handling Complaints

La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said: “If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”

Principle 6– Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

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Quranic Verse: Chp. 34 V. 28

Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “And We have not sent you (O Muhammad) except as a giver of glad tidings and a Warner to all mankind, but most of men know not” (34:28)

In this verse Allah states that He did not send His Messenger Muhammad (peace be upon him) except for giving the glad tidings of reward for all mankind and to inform them about the acts bringing about such a reward.

He is also sent to forewarn them of God’s punishment, and make known to them acts that may warrant such reprisal.

On the Authority of Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) who reported that the holy Prophet said: “By Allah in whose hands my soul is, if anyone of this Ummah (nation) hears about me whether he is a Jew or a Christian and dies without believing in my Message, will be among the dwellers of the Hell-fire.” [Sahih Muslim, the Book of Faith, Hadith no.153]

The word “Ummah” in this Hadith means those whom the call to Islam has reached.

The phrase “If anyone of this Ummah hears about me” means those who lived at the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), as well as those who will come after him till the Day of Judgement. In fact, all of them should follow his way. Mentioning just the Jews and the Christians in this context however serves as an alarming note for the followers of other faiths; since the Jews and the Christians have Divine Books while others do not. As the people of the Book are mentioned in this respect, though they are endowed with books of guidance, it thus follows that others, who have not any divine books, are also involved with greater reason. Allah knows best. [An-Nawawi’s Commentary on Sahih Muslim, Vol. II, Hadith p. 188]

Source: QuranComplex

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Part Two – Ways To Make People Like You

Do This And You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere

Principle 1 Become genuinely interested in other people.

2 – A Simple Way To Make A Good First Impression

Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, expressed his feelings about a smile. “People who smile,” he said, “tend to manage teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There’s far more information in a smile than a frown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.”

William James: “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go

together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if our cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. …”

“There is nothing either good or bad,” said Shakespeare, “but thinking makes it so.”

Principle 2 – Smile.

3 – If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed For Trouble

Principle 3 – Remember that a person’s name is to that person the

sweetest and most important sound in any language.

4 – An Easy Way To Become A Good Conversationalist

Listening is just as important in one’s home life as in the world of business.

Principle 4 – Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

5 – How To Interest People

Principle 5 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

6 – How To Make People Like You Instantly

Always make the other person feel important.

William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be

appreciated.”

“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

The life of many a person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important.

“Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours .”

Principle 6 – Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

In a Nutshell – Six Ways To Make People Like You

Principle 1 – Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2 – Smile.
Principle 3 – Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Principle 4 – Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Principle 6 – Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

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Quranic Verse: Chp. 3 V. 19

Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “Truly, the religion in the sight of Allâh is Islâm. Those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) did not differ except, out of mutual jealousy, after knowledge had come to them. And whoever disbelieves in the Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allâh, then surely, Allâh is Swift in calling to account.” (3:19)

Allah tells us in this verse that:

– Islam is the only religion acceptable to Allah to the exclusion of any other religion.

Islam denotes the inward and the outward submission to Allah in all that He has legislated and ordained either in His glorious Book or through the sayings of His prophet: Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers).” (3:85)

– So, whosoever adopts a religion other than Islam is not on the right path, because he does not follow the way ordained by Allah through His Messenger (peace be upon him).

– Allah [may He be Glorified] tells us in this verse that the People of the Book knew very well that this was the truth but they deviated from it out of oppression and stubbornness.

– And when Muhammad (peace be upon him) came to them, they knew for certain that he was the Messenger of Allah – exactly as they recognized their own children – but envy, oppression and the denial of the signs of Allah kept them away from the right path.

The phrase “And whoever disbelieves in the Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allâh, then surely, Allâh is Swift in calling to account” means: let those who disbelieve in the verses and the signs of Allah wait; the promise of Allah is already coming and they will be recompensed according to their deeds.

Source: QuranComplex

Quranic Verse: Chp. 7 V. 1-3

Following a certain course is sometimes recommended in the Glorious Qur’an and sometimes it is prohibited.

Among the places where following a certain course is recommended is the following:

1. Following the course of revelation i.e. the Glorious Qur’an. Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “Alif-Lâm-Mîm-Sâd. [These letters are one of the miracles of the Qur’ân and none but Allâh (Alone) knows their meanings]. (This is the) Book (the Qur’ân) sent down unto you (O Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم)), so let not your breast be narrow therefrom, that you warn thereby; and a reminder unto the believers. [Say (O Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم)) to these idolaters (pagan Arabs) of your folk:] Follow what has been sent down unto you from your Lord (the Qur’ân and Prophet Muhammad’s Sunnah), and follow not any Auliyâ’ (protectors and helpers who order you to associate partners in worship with Allâh), besides Him (Allâh). Little do you remember!” (7:1-3)

These verses illustrate the following points:

The greatness of the Glorious Qur’an, which is sent down by the All-Wise, Worthy of all praise.
The Glorious Qur’an includes all that mankind need for their spiritual and material life. Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “And We have sent down to you the Book (the Qur’ân) as an exposition of everything, a guidance, a mercy, and glad tidings for those who have submitted themselves (to Allâh as Muslims).” (16:89)
It was revealed to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) to warn mankind as a whole. Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “And We have not sent you (O Muhammad (peace be upon him)) except as a giver of glad tidings and a warner to all mankind.” (34:28)
The commandment to follow what Allah has revealed to His Messenger (peace be upon him).
The prohibition of following other than what was revealed to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) such as the saints whom people invoked either besides Allah or in His stead. Allah [may He be Glorified] said: “Surely the religion (i.e. the worship and the obedience) is for Allâh only.” (39:3) He also said: “And they were commanded not, but that they should worship Allâh, and worship none but Him Alone (abstaining from ascribing partners to Him.” (98:5)

Source: Qurancomplex