This post may contain affiliate links which means I may receive a commission for purchases made through links.
THE VULNERABILITY
THE word persona is the Greek term for “stage mask.” In my work masks and armor are perfect metaphors for how we protect ourselves from the discomfort of vulnerability. Masks make us feel safer even when they become suffocating.
Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you.
Common vulnerability arsenal:
Foreboding joy: the paradoxical dread that clamps down on momentary joyfulness;
Perfectionism: believing that doing everything perfectly means you’ll never feel shame;
Numbing: the embrace of whatever deadens the pain of discomfort and pain.
THE COMMON VULNERABILITY SHIELDS
THE SHIELD: FOREBODING JOY
Joy is probably the most difficult emotion to really feel. 😎 Because when we lose the ability or willingness to be vulnerable, joy becomes something we approach with deep foreboding. We just know that we crave more joy in our lives, that we are joy starved.
What the perpetual-disappointment folks describe is this: “It’s easier to live disappointed than it is to feel disappointed. It feels more vulnerable to dip in and out of disappointment than to just set up camp there. You sacrifice joy, but you suffer less pain.”
Softening into the joyful moments of our lives requires vulnerability.
Once we make the connection between vulnerability and joy, the answer is pretty straightforward: We’re trying to beat vulnerability to the punch. We don’t want to be blindsided by hurt. We don’t want to be caught off-guard, so we literally practice being devastated or never move from self-elected disappointment.
We’re desperate for more joy, but at the same time we can’t tolerate the vulnerability.
We’re visual people. We trust, consume, and mentally store what we see. 👀
💐🌷🌹🌸🌺 Dare 💐🌷🌹🌸🌺